Lara asks :

Hi Lucy,

A woman in my friendship group was trying to take over and tell us all what to do. After a while of this I am quite sick of it. I kept my anger and annoyance with her inside until I couldn't take anymore and sent texts explaining how I was feeling. I think I may have been a bit harsh with her. Two of my friends always agree with me but then agree with her the second she says something else too. I don't think I regret anything I just feel bad, what should I do? How would you deal with the situation? Should I apologize? (I don't apologize often).

 

My first piece of advice would be to talk to someone the next time you are angry with them rather than text. There is no sense of tone or any facial expressions in a text message so she may not realize how angry this had made you.

I have text her but should I apologise

I have text her but should I apologise

It sounds like your friends don't have the confidence to tell her how they really feel, despite having already identified what she appears to be trying to do.

You could apologize and tell her in the flesh how you feel about everything. It's also important to ask her if she realizes how her behaviour is interpreted by the group. She may not be aware of the effect it's having. In which case it might be the perfect opportunity to tell her and try to work through it.

If she is aware and she does want to have influence over other people then it might be time to leave this group behind and make a new friend. It is up to your other mates if they want to move on or continue to succumb to her wishes, but you may want to leave before things get out of hand.



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